You were Never meant to Fit In

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If you’d prefer to listen to this blog post, please click the link to our podcast

The topic for this week’s blog post was all in my corn flakes… and what’s fascinating is that I didn’t realize how much so until Friday and I normally post on early Monday mornings. The Holy Spirit continues to Blow my Mind on how He works, and in most cases, we don’t even realize that He’s working on our behalf, especially as we move into new unchartered territory.  I’m starting my life coach certification program next week and I truly started to panic!  I was having some serious 2nd thoughts about all of it… maybe this isn’t what the Lord wants me to do, I don’t think I’m going to be able to be disciplined enough to do the study, what if I fail, maybe it costs too much right now, etc. etc. etc.  I’m sure that the Lord was just shaking his head, but He still allowed people to cross my path to talk me off the ledge. You may wonder, as I did, how does starting a new on-line program and the idea of not fitting in connect to each other?  As I look back, I’m not really sure if it does, but, as I continued to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit, I found something even more interesting unfolding and so there’s a bit of back story to this podcast so please bear with me.

It started with a very good friend of mine, who asked me to share a few words of encouragement with a young woman, who was making some major life and career decisions. This is what I said to her:

“You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You have been uniquely designed for the journey ahead.  Your steps have been ordered and all you need is already in you, but you may have to wake up some things, develop some things, and cultivate other things. Be authentic, but don’t just settle for “that’s just who I am”. But strive to be the best you, that you can be. You have nothing to prove to anyone, but yourself. Don’t take folks with you that don’t want to go. You want to be with folks that are growing also and not mad at you because you may be outgrowing them. No, I don’t mean that you should separate from spouse, family, and friends, but they should be your greatest supporters, not your naysayers.  So, it may get tough, but don’t get discouraged.  If it gets hard at times, then back up a step or two, assess the situation, work smarter and keep going!

I was amazed at how the Holy Spirit spoke through me, but I still wasn’t connecting the dots.  Then later in the week, I listened to a message entitled “This Doesn’t Fit”, by Dr. Dharius Daniels.  At the end of his message, he talked about the fact that he had never seemed to fit in, even when he was called into ministry.  He said that even as we are walking in our calling, we are not healed from that feeling of being different, if anything it’s the complete opposite.  There may be certain things in our appearance, personality and even character, that may need to change.  However, there are things that the Lord has designed specifically in us.  He has created things in our character and in our personality, that’s unique to us.  But, for example, if you’re mean for the sake of being mean that’s not what I meant.  However, the Lord has put things in us that are critical to our ultimate purpose. There may be that one person that’s meant to receive only what we have, the way only we can deliver it.   On the other hand, there may just be some weird things about us, but there is still no denying our talents, our skills, our God-given gifts… nor our purpose, our calling, our destiny.

According to the today’s societal and cultural standard, who we are and the things we are called to do, are not gonna make sense.   Have we been fighting to prove to people, including ourselves, that we are good enough, not with arrogance, but with confidence.  Have we’ve been fighting to fit in to other peoples’ expectations of us? This is when I had my epiphany… Although in recent years, I’ve learned to be ok in becoming exactly what God called me to be, however, my list of insecurities is still endless.  I’ve never quite felt that I fit anywhere.  I’ve often wondered if something was wrong with me.  I always felt weird.  But I was never supposed to fit in, and neither are you.  Dating back to when I was a young child, all my cousins on my dad side of the family, were light-skinned, so I was considered too dark.  Then, by God’s design, I became a young woman that was over 6 feet tall, that many times was mistaken for a guy… that truly does something to the self-esteem. You may not believe it now, but to top it all off, I’m an introvert and found it very difficult to talk in a space where I didn’t know people.  Obviously, this is exactly the space where the Lord has called me to be and now, none of those other things really matter.  

For some reason, the Lord tends to call us to perform in areas that we feel inadequate in.  Remember Moses, Jeremiah, and so many others.  As we walk in our destiny, in our purpose, in our calling, we may always feel inadequate, but at some point, we will feel comfortable in our own skin, and we will embrace our unique design. We are just the way that the Lord needs us to be, and we’ll be confident in all the things that God has put in us, yet we know that can’t do anything with Him.

Footnote: There may not be any connection to me starting an on-line program, but I believe that the Holy Spirit took this opportunity to show me me.  So, as it was written at the bottom of my journal on that fateful day, I will “Trust His Timing”!  I’ve signed the contract and sent in my deposit. I’ve bought the books and I’m off and running. Wouldn’t you know that now the Holy Spirit has begun to download the framework for my new Order Your Steps offering… Drum roll please!  

Coming in 2023, “Life after Clutter: A Mindset Shift!

Sounds like the name of a book, doesn’t it? … Stay tuned or more information as I enter this new unchartered territory of life coaching.

Always remember to take a quiet moment to listen to what the Holy Spirit is saying….

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